Hey friends,

Welcome back. I'm learning how to live a successful life, and want to share what I learn along the way to spread any and all wisdom I come across. This newsletter is for entrepreneurs, creators and busy ambitious professionals who think that money matters about as much as the choices we make on how to spend it.

Last week: We explored the 'formula for success', you can read that here.​

This week: We'll explore that popular but misleading word: 'balance'

But before we start, I want to prove I practice what I preach by inviting you to unsubscribe.

It's been 3 weeks since I launched and over 1,000 people have joined. My open rate is 70%, but I want it to be 100%.

So — if you don't find this week interesting or valuable, please unsubscribe. The link can be found at the bottom of this email.

When growing a newsletter, measuring 'success' really isn't about size of audience — it's about resonating with an engaged core of fans.

If I'm not the right teacher for you, if you don't follow me on social, if you wouldn't listen to my podcast or buy my products, I respect your choices, see you later.

For the rest of you — let's get to work.

Work — Life Balance.

In the West, we appear obsessed with balance. Nowhere is this more popularised than in the somewhat irritating notion of having the perfect 'work-life balance'.

I am here to tell you that work — life balance is a stupid, toxic term and is (in my opinion) quite a loaded, toxic one as it encourages this notion from people to work less and seek more pleasure leading to things like the 'Great Resignation' and other trends that seem to detach themselves from reality.

What this whole notion misses is this:

There is no such thing as work — life balance.

There is only life.

To find 'balance' what one really needs is the hardest skill on earth for any human to master; 'awareness'.

The Pendulum

If you've ever spoken about needing more balance in your life, and it's what you've been seeking, look no further, because it will never exist. That perfect moment of absolute perfect balance you seek — as an ambitious person — might only ever arrive for a fleeting moment; by the very nature of our personalities, you are likely (like me) to miss it.

A much more helpful framing is that of a pendulum. The energy swinging back and forth from 'not enough' to 'too much' is constantly swinging; the best model I've found for 'balance' is trying to limit the extremity of the swings so whilst things are always 'out of balance' it never feels truly too extreme.

Those people who suffer from this notion of 'work — life balance' being so far out of whack, are more likely experiencing extreme swings — and only by paying attention to your life, having better 'awareness' will enable you to slow the pace of it, and feel more centred and in control.

The Paradox of 'Balance'

In last week's newsletter, we discussed the 'formula for success'; the science of accomplishment + the art of contentment. Within this statement is another paradoxical balance. Science and art. Accomplishment and contentment. Too much of one — you lose. The right amount of both, you succeed.

To prove this point; I've interviewed over 500 of the most accomplished, wealthiest entrepreneurs in the world on my podcast Secret Leaders. They already have more money than they ever need… that doesn't mean they have 'enough'.

Ironically, it might be the case that the wealthier you are (financial accomplishment), the harder you need to work on finding balance in contentment because if you always want more, no amount of money solves that inner conflict.

Pessimism vs Optimism

This is a very crude way to judge 'successful people', but if we study the world's most successful investors — what we learn is they either innately understand this balance, or learn it before it's too late.

To be a successful investor, you need to be pessimistic about this year and optimistic about the decade. Knowing the short term might suck terribly but still resisting the temptation to freak out and withdraw their positions, over the long term.

There's actually a brilliant lesson here.

You would never look at a totally pessimistic person and call them successful. For starters, if everything they see is negative, most likely, they are unhappy and even depressed.

At the other end of the scale — totally optimistic people are often naive, utopian and easily conned — how many of us have received those brilliant emails years ago from the Nigerian Royalty promising riches if you could only transfer some money into their bank accounts.

Fun fact, I definitely once tried to convince my dad as a 12-year-old that Prince Mbatu Atuwembe would send us a million dollars if I only sent him $1000. Fortunately, despite my dad being the biggest optimist I know, life experience taught him to keep his wallet away from me that time!

In my marriage — my wife is the more pessimistic one, I'm the more optimistic one. The result?

Decisions we make alone for our family aren't as good as decisions we discuss and make together. Balance.

So — what do we need to be successful? A careful balance of optimism and pessimism.

You need to believe that things can and will get better (history shows they always do), whilst knowing that in the upcoming days and months, you'll face negative challenges that knock you down, because reality is harsh, nature is cruel, and all growth comes from overcoming obstacles.

If you can't do that, if you can't understand this paradox — success will continue to evade you.

The Science of Success (SOS) Toolkit

As this newsletter is new, I'm experimenting with formats. This week, here's my best content from social.

🐥 My tweet of the week: 5 Neuroscience hacks to boost your productivity permanently​

🤓 My LinkedIn post of the week: How to handle criticism in 7 steps (infographic of that here)

And behind the scenes in my personal life, the photo below is a perfect example of the paradox of success.

In Cape Town, where I'm spending the month remote working, there are many hikes.

The busiest ones, of course, are the easiest, you can even get a cable car to the best view, if you don't mind lots of people. However, to get the absolute best photo in town, you need to commit to the 4-hour hike round the back of the mountain, where most don't go.

Indeed, the road less travelled, a perfect example of how the best moments in life (and accompanying humblebrag photo opportunities) come from facing challenges & hard work that others avoid.

Here's to our success,

Dan