"We're Like a Family Here" is a Major Red Flag

Read time: 6 minutes

Good morning (Or good evening, depending on your timezone).

Last week, we dove into the power of authenticity in business.

​You can read that (and all past issues, here).

Today, let's unpack a phrase that's been bugging me lately: "We're like a family here."

I recently shared this image on LinkedIn just for fun, and it got a whopping 11K likes and 1,131,382 impressions, which makes this painfully relatable.

You've probably heard this in interviews or from well-meaning managers. It sounds warm and fuzzy, right?

But here's the thing - it's often a red flag waving right in front of our faces.

More often than not, it's this 'depth' that stands out the most, sometimes even more than what their businesses are known for.

The Family Facade

I've been on both sides of this - as an employee and as a founder.

And let me tell you, the "family" comparison rarely leads anywhere good.

Here's why:

1. Boundaries? What Boundaries? In a "family" workplace, your personal life becomes fair game. Suddenly, you're expected to prioritize work over everything else. It's like being guilted into staying late at the office instead of attending your kid's recital.
2. Overtime? It's Just Love! When work is "family," the clock stops mattering. You're pressured to put in extra hours without extra pay because, hey, that's what family does, right?
3. Emotional Rollercoaster "Family" workplaces often use loyalty as a weapon. Disagree with the boss? You're not being a team player. Want a raise? Why are you so greedy?
4. Professionalism Goes Out the Window Conflicts get messy when everyone's "family." Favouritism runs rampant, and suddenly, your work bestie is getting promotions while you're stuck.
5. Change is the Enemy "But we've always done it this way!" Sound familiar? "Family" businesses often resist change like a stubborn uncle at Thanksgiving.
6. Burnout Central In these environments, exhaustion becomes a badge of honour. If you're not working yourself to the bone, do you even care about the "family"?
7. Hotel California Syndrome Try leaving a "family" workplace. Suddenly, you're a traitor abandoning ship. It's guilt-tripping at its finest.

The Better Alternative

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for close-knit, supportive work environments - I think I've cultivated that well at all 3 of my companies. But there's a better way:

• Respect for Work-Life Balance: Your time off is yours. Period.
• Clear Boundaries: Professionalism doesn't mean being cold. It means respect.
• Fair Compensation: Pay for the work done, including overtime.
• Open Feedback Channels: Criticism should be welcomed, not punished.
• Embracing Change: The best workplaces evolve constantly.
• Valuing Well-being: Burnout isn't a sign of dedication. It's a sign something's wrong.
• Supporting Growth: Even if that means outgrowing the company.

Remember, you're not joining a family when you take a job. You're entering a professional relationship. It should be respectful, growth-oriented, and mutually beneficial.

The Challenge

Here's what you should do:

1. Reflect on your current or past workplaces. Have you encountered the "family" rhetoric? How did it impact you?
2. If you're a leader, examine your language. Are you unconsciously promoting this mindset?
3. Consider how you can foster a supportive, professional environment without falling into the "family" trap.

I'm really curious to hear your thoughts on this. Have you experienced "family" workplaces? How did you navigate them?

To your professional success (no family strings attached),

Dan

P.S. If this resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Sometimes, recognising these red flags is the first step to a healthier work life.

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SOS (Science of Success) Curated:

LinkedIn of the week: Communication vs. Comprehension​

Podcast of the week: The Best Marketing in History, Explained​

My Tweet of the week: 15 Methods To Master Your Time​

The Cost of "Family" Culture

A study from the Journal of Applied Psychology found that employees in organizations with strong "family" cultures reported higher levels of emotional exhaustion and work-family conflict.

Interestingly, these effects were most pronounced in high-performing employees. The researchers theorized that the "family" metaphor created an implicit obligation to prioritize work over personal life, leading to burnout among the most dedicated team members.

This research challenges the notion that a "family" culture is always beneficial. It suggests that clear professional boundaries might actually lead to healthier, more sustainable work environments.

What do you think? How can organizations create close-knit, supportive cultures without falling into the "family" trap?

From a humble bricklayer to building a $50 million honey empire, Scott Davies is living proof that with relentless determination and a never-say-die mentality, anything is possible.

Scott’s journey, which began with self-doubt and uncertainty, evolved into the story of an entrepreneur who overcame immense challenges to transform his business into what it is today.

Now, his honey is stocked in over 500 Tesco stores across the UK, and his company proudly produces 25% of Britain’s honey supply.

This is not just a story of success, but also a heart warming tale of perseverance and personal growth
​Listen in to learn and develop your thinking...​

Until next week - smash your success,

Dan

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1-1 Coaching with Dan

In my goal to help more entrepreneurs/people who are looking to level up their careers, I've just started taking 1-1 consulting calls (only 1 a week)

Why book a call? Some of my expertise/success:

I've built 5 startups. 1 win, 1 fail, and 3 still going.

E Commerce: Heights — with revenue over $15M a year.

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Podcasting: Leaders Media - bootstrapped media company that makes the UK's top business podcasts, Secret Leaders, with over 50M downloads.

Health/Mental Health: Managed to overcome burnout, insomnia, depression & anxiety in pursuit of success as I talk about in my interview with Steven Bartlett on Diary of a CEO​

Angel Investing: I've invested in over 86 startups

Coached & Mentored: Certified coach & done lots of mentoring

Personal Brand: Have grown to 170k on LinkedIn and X (Twitter) in the past 12 months

So if you're interested in booking a session with me to talk all things business or building a personal brand, book for 30-minutes or 45-minutes. (limited spots).

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Want to take your success (even more) seriously? 👇​
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